May 22, 2013. 10:40 pm
I don't know, I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I felt the need of write how I feel. I was watching "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and somehow it inspired me and I think I found the answers to many question that I have had during my whole life. I've always been super different from my family, I'm such a big dreamer and I always want to do different things. And I hate it because every time I want to do something they are judging me and saying things like "Oh! you are crazy" or something like that but NO! It's just that I don't want to be like the other people I want to be different and they don't understand that. There are just three people that I can say they understand me and they never judge me, those are friends of mine. I want all my dreams to come true,I want to travel across the world I want to skydive, I want to do all the things that are in my mind but I don't do because I'm afraid of what my family and friends are going to think. I honestly don't care about the other people I just care about my family and friends. I really want to have something to tell to my sons, I really want to say " Oh! I did that and it was awesome" or "Oh yeah! I did that and it wasn't awesome it was horrible but at least I tried and I learned". Because that's what life is about, you have to learn new things, you know what, life is so short and time runs fast, it doesn't wait for you and it wont, so you have to run with it, you have to live without caring about what your family or friends are going to say and at the end of the day if you think about it, they are not going to leave you, they are the persons that no matter what, they are going to be with you. So if you do the things you want to do they must help you to go through it, it doesn't matter if it's a bad or a good moment, just go with the flow and do it. And if one of them leave you then s/he wasn't supposed to be in your life.
I want to change, I don't want to be part of the heap, I want to shine among the heap. Some days ago I thought I didn't know what to do with my life but I did know because when you say "Oh I don't know what to do with my life" there is something that is telling you to do this or that and you have to follow that voice inside you, you do know what you want is just that you are afraid to fail or you are afraid of what others are going to think. I don't want that to happen in my life I want to follow my dreams and do new things. I want to throw away all these insecurities that I have so I can learn to love myself.
That's all for today xx
May 22, 2013. 11:30pm
